Living With the Lights On

Holding It Together When It Feels Like You Are Falling Apart The phone won't stop ringing. Your child can't find their shoe. You need to get the laundry started. You have no idea what to cook for dinner. You can't fit into your favorite jeans.  It feels like your head is spinning. And then you eat.  Let me help. Pause. Breathe..... Notice and name your emotion....anxiety, frustration, anger, chaos? Where do you feel it in your body?  Emotions are simply vibrations in your body.  Describe what it feels like    Did you know that our emotions were part of how we are created?  They are indicators of the thoughts we have running around in our heads.   That may not sound comforting, but it is the first step in regaining your well being. Every thought is optional. When we become aware, without judgment,  we create forward momentum in the direction of our goals and dreams. The key is to notic...

The Present of His Presence Does your life feel full of chaos? During these weeks in limbo between Thanksgiving and the New Year full of feelings of anxiety, doubt, and regrets?  I would love to help by offering some thoughts.   (Remember, it is our thoughts, not our circumstances that create our feelings.) Here, try these thoughts:  "I am wonderfully made" "I am deeply loved" "I am the righteousness of God in Christ Jesus" "He is with me always, no matter how I am feeling or acting." Practice believing what He says about you. This is the first step in transforming how you see yourself and how you treat yourself.   I have created a webinar  for regaining well-being for 2020   that can help you and I would love to share it with you. It is totally free!  This is perfect timing to build momentum for the new year.   This webinar will give you the same simple steps I took to get off the yo-y...

Do We Really Need to Love Ourselves? There are lots and lots of messages out there about loving ourselves.  Some say it is the most important thing. Others say it is selfish.   What do you think?   Let me offer some thoughts to consider.   God's Word tells us, "We love because God loved us first." 1 John 4:19.  If God loves us, then we must be lovable. 100%!  Another verse tells us that He loved us while we were still rebellious, so Him loving us doesn't depend on our behavior. Does not loving ourselves agree with these truths?  Hmm, something to think about. A thought pattern I had in earlier years was, "If  I don't love myself,  I will behave better so that I will then be able to love myself."  Can you relate?   This performance-based acceptance is shaky ground.  Let's look at some firm understanding. Love is a feeling.  When we feel love we act in certain ...

Because I Care About You This is the perfect week to start practicing this thought: “Because I Care About You!” I have been trying this for the last few days. We have had some extra things come up and they included foods that were not on my plan. I picked up a small bite of a brownie and this thought came to me, “Because I Care About You.” That thought triggered the feeling of compassion, love, and honor. Those feelings led me to the action of placing the bite of brownie in the trash can. The Result - overcoming love. It is such a powerful feeling. I recommend it. Have fun trying this thought in as many areas as you can think of. Some of those areas might include these... Writing a 24-hour plan, Following through with your plan, Getting sufficient water, Getting sufficient sleep, Stopping eating when you reach +2, Focusing on conversations rather than food, What other areas can you think of? Enjoy the feeling you c...

Your Thoughts About Food and Why They Matter What do you think about food? Are there certain foods you think about with longing? Are there certain foods you don't give much thought to at all? I would like to challenge you, as we reach the end of November, to begin noticing what you think about your food. Why?  Because our thoughts will create emotions.   Some of those emotions might be "urgent", "desire", "longing", "guilt", "shame".  Other emotions might include "confident", "peace", "kindness", self-control", "victorious", "loving".   Which of these emotions do you want to feel most when you are making choices about how to nourish your body? Your emotions will trigger your actions.  As you begin noticing your thoughts, you may see thoughts like these: " I want that." " That looks so good." " I need that." ...

Three Keys to Remember Guardrails keep us on the path we want to be on.   When we stay on the path we want to be on, we get to where we want to go.  The  three "Guardrails" or keys are these: Make sure your plan is doable and repeatable.  When we create doable plans that are not highly restrictive,  we have the chance to show ourselves we will follow through and we will keep following through.  Eating when we are hungry and stopping when we are full is not crazy.  Eating when we are not hungry is what is crazy! The way we talk to ourselves and the way we think about ourselves makes a difference.  When we honor ourselves and speak with gentleness we want to repeat the actions we are taking.  When we beat up on ourselves, and tell ourselves we are not good enough, we work against ourselves and limit ourselves. For as he thinks within himself, so is he.- Prov 23:7 Start with these guardrail keys and see how far th...

This Holiday Season Focus on the Gifts Wait! Before you close this, hear me out.  I know for some who are managing their eating and food choices, this time of year can feel so challenging. You've been working so hard to plan and follow-through, but you know that when the feasting begins, it seems impossible to honor your commitment to your well-being. This is where filling up is most helpful.   Fill up your mind on the gifts.   The gift I am noticing more and more is the gift of faith.   Ephesians 2:8 For it is by grace  you have been saved,  through faith —and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God— Can we un-give gifts that have been given to us?  Is it possible? No! The thing that is our part is to notice the gifts.  Focus on the gifts.  Start with a few; Grace for each day. Faith to believe. Fruit to nourish us in our Spirit. But  the   f...

Is it About Vanity OR Is it About Dignity? What is the difference? Which is the best reason to lose weight?  I can't answer that for you.  Only you can.   Both of these are available right now. Which of these do you want most?  Which one of these has longterm benefits?  Which of these are available right now? What does each of these nouns mean to you?  Which of these would you want most for your child?  Which of these do you admire in others?   The reason I ask all these questions is that asking ourselves good questions helps us see what we are thinking .   When we see what we are thinking, we know why we are feeling the emotions we are feeling . When we are aware of our emotions, we then know why we are acting like we act. When we see how we are acting, we understand why we have the results we have.  I work with Christ-followers who want to change the way they act around food....

    Are You Interested in Taking a Break from Sugar?  That is a great question to ask ourselves. Another great question is - What place does food have in your life?   Now, notice your thoughts.  Does your mind immediately go to judging and beating up on yourself when you answer those questions?  OR Does your mind go to clenching your fists and gritting your teeth, not wanting to give up your favorite foods? Neither one of these reactions is "bad" or "wrong".  I'm guessing they are reactions you've had in the past.  Just notice them without judging them.  They are thoughts you have practiced. My work as a life and weight coach is not to demonize sugar. My work is to give accurate information that explains the results sugar has inside our bodies.   My clients get to decide for themselves if they want to take a break from sugar.   They get to observe the re...

Freedom with Food What would it be like to have true freedom with food?  How do we get there?  Let's begin by defining what freedom is.   I am borrowing David Jeremiah's definition from his series "Everything you Need" : " Freedom is the length of a cord from a given stake. " Doctor Jeremiah gives the example of the freedom their children had playing in the back yard.  They could go anywhere they wanted inside the fence line.  He and his wife knew the kids were safe.  The kids knew they were safe.  All they had to do was enjoy the freedom in the backyard.   So does freedom come with safe boundaries? I believe it does. A big part of freedom is safety.  That is one of the reasons I am convinced that a 24-hour plan is the key to freedom with food.   I have seen it in my own experience and in the experience of my clients.   The marketing around us would argue that having a p...

The Breakfast of Champions If you believed you were a champion, how would you start your day? Use your imagination a little and imagine being champion of this day. Just today.  Do you know what champions do?   They make decisions ahead of time. They speak to themselves like champs. When they fall down, they get back up without punishing themselves.  Let's practice; When you start your day, which would feel like a champion?  Beginning with blasts from social media, emails, news? OR Beginning with a peaceful routine? (start with 5 minutes) One of these is bombarded from outside forces, the other is focused on inside strength.  When you decide what to think, which would feel like a champion? "I can't figure this out." OR " I know at least one step to take." One of these reduces forward momentum, the other increases forward momentum.  When you decide how to speak to yourself, which would feel like ...

When You Don't Hit Your Goals How do you handle your self-talk when you don't hit your goals? This is a powerful question because it can make all the difference in how you move forward.  Our natural tendency is either "not caring" at all (which is avoiding) or shaming ourselves and kicking ourselves when we are down. We like to think that these two options happen to us . But they are both choices. They are decisions.  They are probably familiar reactions to not hitting your goals.   Just notice that.   Both of these reactions will recreate your past.   In order to create the future you want, you will want to choose a different response.  Here is an exercise that will help.   I would like you to create a list of characteristics that you noticed when you have felt you were at the BEST version of you.   It could be from when you were 8 years old, or 13, or last week.  ...

Pressing On or Staying Stuck I remember reading about the Israelites complaining in the desert and wanting to go back to Egypt, to slavery. I thought they were crazy!  Why on earth would they want to go back and stay stuck in what was so awful?! In my training as a coach and in my own personal experience, I realize that that is a natural human reaction to change.  WHAT?! Our natural instinct is to avoid doing hard things, to avoid changes, and to seek pleasure.  When we start making changes like choosing ways of eating that serve our body, or regular exercise, or managing our emotions to stop procrastinating, our lower level, habit brain will try talking us out of those changes. Staying stuck is easier.  That is the way our brain is designed and when we learn this, we are then able to activate the higher-level part of our brain.  This is the part of our brain made in the image of God. This is where decisions for well-being rather tha...

When you've had enough! This blog is written for those of you who are trying to create lasting change.  For those of you tired of sabotaging your progress by going back and forth between honoring your commitment and giving in to urges.   The reason you are finding it hard is that the thinking patterns you have been using in the past are not the patterns that will build the future you desire.   The good news is that we can handle it.  We have a brain that is made in the image of God.   Here is a way of looking at it. That part of my life is over now.  It is completed.  That's how I feel about overeating and eating so much food that I feel sick, and living a life of unconsciousness when it comes to food.  That part of my life is now over. I've had enough.  Would you consider looking at your own journey this way instead of it being something that you're giving up for a time and you will always be longing...

Is accountability really that important? I remember thinking that my weightloss trials were too embarrassing to reach out and ask for help.  I kept myself isolated and spinning in my own head. What I didn't know was I was making it even harder for me to stick to my plans.   I was missing out on the neuroscientific advantages of human connection.   I don't want you to struggle through alone.  I'm sending out this invitation to support yourself by allowing others to encourage you.   "Friends help us get out of our heads and into our hearts."  - Ben Courson Godly friends are blessings. They are part of His plan for us.   This is why I consider it such a privilege to walk alongside the women I work with.   I see the difference it makes for them when they give up trying to accomplish their goals alone.  One of the pieces of having the support of others is the strategy of accou...

Beauty for Ashes In Isaiah 61:3, Jesus tells us He will give us "beauty for ashes" or "a garland (of flowers) or headdress."  There is an interesting wordplay in the Hebrew text. The word for "beauty" is phe'er, and the word for "ashes" is epher - simply the moving of one letter.   God has the power to change and move things around in our lives to make them into something beautiful. Bible Gateway Commentary  What is our part?  To believe new things. To let go of old ways of thinking. Our human nature wants us to continue with what is familiar - even if the old ways of thinking, believing and acting don't serve our highest purpose.   What is so appealing to continuing in old ways? There's no work, there's no responsibility, there's no effort.  When we make a strong decision to be committed to honoring ourselves and our future we begin by believing new things.  What is so appealing to belie...

Is it more than you can bear?  In his message, "Out of Context: More Than You Can Handle", Pastor Mike Novotny shares some powerful insights about tough times and challenging circumstances.  I believe this can be very useful when we apply it to handling food choices and urges. I remember thinking I couldn't handle myself when it came to food "temptations". What I didn't know is that the strength of God is available for me in that area, too. When I learned that I can line up my thinking in agreement with God, I am strengthened up to make choices from a place of love and honor. Yes, even choices about food. Follow with me as we go through this passage with Pastor Mike's thoughts: I wonder if you've ever felt like that before?  Like maybe you know the right thing to do or the Christian thing to do or the Bible thing to do but there's this one thing that you come face to face with it, you just don't know how to say no to it.  And ...

Self loathing is not humility. "Humility is not thinking less of yourself,  it's thinking of yourself less" - C.S. Lewis I believe that often times in our walk with the Lord, we get confused about how we should see ourselves.   But let me ask you this question, "How does God see you?"   Does He loath you?  Does He despise you?  He sent His Son for you.   He loves you with an everlasting love.  No matter how you are behaving. No matter how you think you look.  No matter how you feel. What would it sound like if we got into agreement about how He sees us? Would we talk to ourselves differently? Would we honor ourselves differently? Would we act differently?  Would we have different results?  I believe this is the root and foundation of lasting well being and honoring our commitment to caring for our temples with strong decisions.   I  believe that humility is one of the strongest...