Living With the Lights On

Failure is an Event, NOT a Person! Have you notices that humans attach labels to others and to ourselves? Labels like, Failure Perfectionist People-Pleaser Procrastinator I have always wondered why we do this.  It certainly isn't helpful.  It actually leads to more of the same behavior. Our behavior is an echo of our beliefs about ourselves.   In my training and education as a life coach, I have learned that it is a primitive brain response to look out of the "bad".  Our habit brain wants to take less energy and labeling takes less energy than awareness and mindfulness.  Resigning to a label is the easiest route. As a beloved child of God, I also know that that is the route our Enemy would like us to take.  That labeling will keep us down.  Condemnation leads to and results in this kind of labeling. It's a downward spiral that keeps us stuck.  Can you relate?  Are you feeling stuck in this downwar...

Do you feel weak when it comes to food?  I remember when it felt like I was helpless. When certain types of food were around, I would cave.  I just knew something was wrong with me.  Why was I so weak?  Have you ever had this experience?  Let me offer some help. First, understand that you are not broken.  It is a natural human reaction to have urges for food and some foods trigger more of a response.  It is like a chemical reaction.  It doesn't make you good or bad. It's science.  Release the judgement.        When we understand the physical response that is activated by foods, we are then able to make informed choices.  We can make decisions ahead of time and we can discover that there is no food that is more powerful than our brain. Second, understand your biggest weapon does not come from outside of you.  Weakness is the absence of strength. Weakness is the absence of the a...

When all you can ask is why? Do you find yourself asking: "Why is this happening?" "Why is this so hard?" "Why can't I do this?" If you do, let me give you some steps that will help stop the internal spinning mind that goes along with questions like that. I call it the "whiny why". First, understand that our habit brain prefers that we stay in confusion.   Confusion is more familiar than proactive action.  It's the way human primal brains work.  It will do anything to keep from increasing effort.  And that's okay. Notice that your brain immediately focuses on answering questions.  Our habit brain goes directly to the past and to avoidance.  This, too is a safe place but is will recreate what we have had in the past.  Second, remind yourself of your BIG WHY.  What is the reason you decided to stop overeating? What is the end result you want to powerfully?   What difference will it make?  Spend some time ...

Are You Too Afraid to Start Again?  I remember thinking, why on earth would I want to start another weight loss program?!  All that will happen is that I will fail again.   I am a failure.  I'm afraid will repeat the failing.... Have you heard yourself thinking the same things?   It's okay, I get it.   Let me take a minute to share one of the most helpful words that helped me break that downward spiral and gave me the courage to attempt one more start.  The start that has made all the difference. "We are destroying speculations and every lofty thing raised up against the knowledge of God, and we are taking every thought captive to the obedience of Christ," - 2 Cor 10:5 What are speculations?  They are the guesses, the predictions, the thoughts that I will fail again.  This verse tell us that we are destroying them! Not just stopping, not just ignoring them...we are destroying them.  How...

Do you need more willpower?  I remember the years of yo-yo dieting.  Down 5 lbs - up 10 or 15...and more.   I remember telling myself that if I just had more willpower, I would be able to lose the weight and keep it off.  What wrong with me?  Why do I cave and have so little willpower?  That was then - this is now! Now I know that willpower isn't the answer.   Willpower is like trying to hold a beach ball under the water.  I can do it for awhile, until I get tired or distracted and then, BOOM!  It explodes into the air!  When I tried to use willpower to avoid certain types of food, I was using resistance and restriction in a way that, in the end, led to an explosion of binging and overeating that food and more!  Then I would beat up on myself and feel guilt and shame.   No wonder I overate and gained it all back, plus some. 😔😞 When the lights came on, I saw this destructi...

You are not fat- you have fat.  When I listen to the women I work with, this is the first thing I explain to them.  You are not fat.  Your body has stored fat.  Fat is extra energy stored. Think about that truth.  The difference is subtle but oh so powerful.   The self loathing and self judgment begins to diminish.   What are some other things you may have?  You have dry skin.  You have short fingernails. You have long hair. You have cracked heels. I would like you to consider that you can think about having stored fat in the same way as you think about these other four conditions.   Ask yourself, "What is the process I can do to improve this condition?" Do this without beating up on yourself.  Just begin the steps and follow through.  When you do this, you will get the results you want.  Without judgment, you begin to put lotion on your skin everyday. W...

What do you think you're worth? Have you ever really thought about how you would answer that question? In order to answer what we think anything is worth, we must know our priorities. When we're buying a car, we know what our priorities are so we decide how much that car is worth to us. Are you worth as much as a car? When we are prioritizing our time, there are certain activities and programs we decide are worth our time.  Are you worth your time? Worth is based on a decision. Decisions are based on priorities.  I would like you to think about you, now.  What are some priorities you have for you?  Is more energy a priority for you? Is less joint pain a priority for you? Is less emotional eating a priority for you? Is feeling in control of your food a priority for you? Only you can answer these questions.  And they are great questions to help us make decisions.   If you notice that prioritizing time and resources ...