Living With the Lights On

When You Don't Hit Your Goals How do you handle your self-talk when you don't hit your goals? This is a powerful question because it can make all the difference in how you move forward.  Our natural tendency is either "not caring" at all (which is avoiding) or shaming ourselves and kicking ourselves when we are down. We like to think that these two options happen to us . But they are both choices. They are decisions.  They are probably familiar reactions to not hitting your goals.   Just notice that.   Both of these reactions will recreate your past.   In order to create the future you want, you will want to choose a different response.  Here is an exercise that will help.   I would like you to create a list of characteristics that you noticed when you have felt you were at the BEST version of you.   It could be from when you were 8 years old, or 13, or last week.  ...

Pressing On or Staying Stuck I remember reading about the Israelites complaining in the desert and wanting to go back to Egypt, to slavery. I thought they were crazy!  Why on earth would they want to go back and stay stuck in what was so awful?! In my training as a coach and in my own personal experience, I realize that that is a natural human reaction to change.  WHAT?! Our natural instinct is to avoid doing hard things, to avoid changes, and to seek pleasure.  When we start making changes like choosing ways of eating that serve our body, or regular exercise, or managing our emotions to stop procrastinating, our lower level, habit brain will try talking us out of those changes. Staying stuck is easier.  That is the way our brain is designed and when we learn this, we are then able to activate the higher-level part of our brain.  This is the part of our brain made in the image of God. This is where decisions for well-being rather tha...

When you've had enough! This blog is written for those of you who are trying to create lasting change.  For those of you tired of sabotaging your progress by going back and forth between honoring your commitment and giving in to urges.   The reason you are finding it hard is that the thinking patterns you have been using in the past are not the patterns that will build the future you desire.   The good news is that we can handle it.  We have a brain that is made in the image of God.   Here is a way of looking at it. That part of my life is over now.  It is completed.  That's how I feel about overeating and eating so much food that I feel sick, and living a life of unconsciousness when it comes to food.  That part of my life is now over. I've had enough.  Would you consider looking at your own journey this way instead of it being something that you're giving up for a time and you will always be longing...

Is accountability really that important? I remember thinking that my weightloss trials were too embarrassing to reach out and ask for help.  I kept myself isolated and spinning in my own head. What I didn't know was I was making it even harder for me to stick to my plans.   I was missing out on the neuroscientific advantages of human connection.   I don't want you to struggle through alone.  I'm sending out this invitation to support yourself by allowing others to encourage you.   "Friends help us get out of our heads and into our hearts."  - Ben Courson Godly friends are blessings. They are part of His plan for us.   This is why I consider it such a privilege to walk alongside the women I work with.   I see the difference it makes for them when they give up trying to accomplish their goals alone.  One of the pieces of having the support of others is the strategy of accou...

Beauty for Ashes In Isaiah 61:3, Jesus tells us He will give us "beauty for ashes" or "a garland (of flowers) or headdress."  There is an interesting wordplay in the Hebrew text. The word for "beauty" is phe'er, and the word for "ashes" is epher - simply the moving of one letter.   God has the power to change and move things around in our lives to make them into something beautiful. Bible Gateway Commentary  What is our part?  To believe new things. To let go of old ways of thinking. Our human nature wants us to continue with what is familiar - even if the old ways of thinking, believing and acting don't serve our highest purpose.   What is so appealing to continuing in old ways? There's no work, there's no responsibility, there's no effort.  When we make a strong decision to be committed to honoring ourselves and our future we begin by believing new things.  What is so appealing to belie...